Funny... and a Lesson for Marketers

As the owner of CraftCritique.com I receive almost daily emails from marketers. They want to optimize our blog for search engines, have us review their non-crafty products, have us SELL their product, loan us money, or a million other things that either do not make any sense or are totally not appropriate for our business.

Out of all the marketing emails we receive I would say less than 5% are applicable to us or worth pursuing in any way. So when I read this article, "A lesson to marketers about the importance of reading the blogs they pitch to but who probably won’t read this because they don’t read the blogs they pitch to", by the Bloggess; Jenny Lawson, I immediately related.

In this post (which you should read right now) Jenny schools a marketing rep for a lotion company who contacts her to test their product line. She toys with him, explaining her need for a SPF shielding lotion to protect her lawn maintenance staff from the dangers of rock dissolving acids. It becomes apparent that not only has he not read her blog, he is barely reading her emails.... hilarity ensues, and a lesson is learned.

The email pitches we receive are so random and ridiculous I always figured there wasn't even a real person on the other end of most of them... they read like Nigerian Lottery win announcements. I just delete them and move on, figuring if I responded I would just end up on more spam lists as a result.

But Jenny's post inspired me, and today I decided to try my luck at badgering a marketing rep. This time from a company that promises to place my products in their network of stores... note that this was sent to Craft Critique, not my personal blog. If you have visited CC you know we do not sell anything, and it's pretty obvious at a glance.

-----Original Message-----
From: David T.
Sent: Thursday, March 19, 2009 3:17 PM
To: info@craftcritique.com
Subject: Re: I'm interested in selling your crafts through our stores

I sent you an email a few months ago about selling your crafts through our network of stores. I think they'd be a great fit. Do you wholesale?

We work hand in hand with buyers from thousands of specialty stores, gift shops, large chains, mail-order catalog companies and Internet shopping sites. We need a larger variety of crafts they can choose from, hence my email to you.

If you're interested in selling your pieces to more stores visit us at (his URL was HERE) We guarantee sales.

Sincerely,
David T.
Director of Merchandising
Company Name


My Response...


-----Original Message-----
From: Sarah Moore [mailto:sarah@craftcritique.com]
Sent: Thursday, March 19, 2009 3:13 PM
To: 'David T'
Subject: RE: I'm interested in selling your crafts through our stores

That sounds great! How do I begin?

I actually have an overstock of 1000 chain-maile maternity shirts I need to unload. They had been ordered custom by a specialty chain of medieval maternity shops... but with the economy being what it is they just canceled the order. Unfortunately for me I have a very quick staff and they had completed the whole collection before we received the notice of cancellation.

Do you need images of the products? They are a basic tunic style, in silver-tone chain-maile with faux ruby embellishments. I can change the stones out to pink or blue if you think that would be more marketable than red.

I eagerly await your response! Thank you so much for contacting us!

-Sarah


and best of all, HIS follow up!


-----Original Message-----
From: David T.
Sent: Thursday, March 19, 2009 6:27 PM
To: 'Sarah Moore'
Subject: RE: I'm interested in selling your crafts through our stores

It's optional to add images, although adding images will help move your products.

As per your email, to get started simply register at (his URL was HERE) Send me an email when you register and I'll forward you instruction on how to get set-up. I'll also add a free month to your account.

Sincerely,
David T.


I honestly don't even know how to respond next! Maybe I will see if I can find an image to send him of my chain-maile maternity tunics... anyone know a chain-maile artist?

The Foot: Day Nine

I suppose it's nice to finally have something interesting to blog about... assuming my audience wasn't interested in hearing about my online scrabble escapades, preschool stories or trips to Target.

So here is the lowdown; I have broken the foot... in two spots... the Distal Tibia and the 2nd Metatarsal. These images aren't of my actual x-rays... but they are pretty close to what I saw today. Perhaps I can get a hold of the films when they are done with them so I can use them for scrapping... or to decorate my windows next Halloween.

The VERY good news is; no surgery. Awesome! The bad news is; I am in a cast for 6 weeks... at least. And then a soft boot for a few more weeks. NO weight bearing, which is practically impossible for a girl with no upper body strength. No driving for at least 8 weeks. Whatever.

subtle no?

Thank goodness I have such an amazing husband... in so many ways; making dinner, fetching me things, helping get Andy ready in the morning. He even has a feta and spinach casserole in the fridge as we speak for tomorrow... he's practically a show off!

The child on the other hand is really going through some "stuff". I think this is just a lot for him to handle. Suddenly he has been asked to step up to the plate, which he is clearly irritated by.

So *that* is the dealio. I will be sitting here on my couch a lot, and I hope to get some crafting in... and some more blogging. Tomorrow I may bust out the Knifty Knitter.

Craft Critique on the other hand is going gangbusters! I have been meeting some amazing people to network and cross promote with. It's been fun and exciting, and the new things we have coming up over there really have my mojo inspired!

Thank you ALL for your well wishes; via tweet, Facebook, and email... or the comments you have left here. Allthough I haven't met many of you I feel like you are truly my friends. Hearing you share your stories of coping with injury is very inspirational to me. I feel so connected to you all!

Foot Update; Day Three

So it is day three of the injury, and the foot is still swelling. The bruises are moving around in all sorts of colorful and exciting ways. The soft boot I have to wear and the crutches are making it easier for me to get around the house. I unfortunately have to take codeine for the pain... but I am taking Advil first... and only take the codeine secondary.

It's much more painful at this point than I anticipated. Using the crutches is a whole body experience, working muscles I didn't know I had, causing me to be exhausted at the end of the day.

The depression is already creeping up on me. Last spring was consumed by my mom's illness; no gardening, no vacations, stuck inside... etc. After our particularly cold and snowy winter I am already feeling stir crazy, so I am not looking forward to a possible 3 months of no driving or walking.

Tomorrow I have my CT scan and my MRI... and Wednesday I will follow up with the doctor to get the results. Meanwhile, my wonderful husband is taking care of me. Even my 4 year old has really stepped up to the plate; fetching things for mommy and be very careful not to jump on me directly.

I would like to say I will wait until the results of the CT scan are in before I start to freak out.... but I am starting to freak, a little bit. I am not a very patient person, nor am I good at loosing my independence. Time will tell!

Falling

It's true... I fall a lot. About once a year I have a fall that either forces me to the doctor or to consume mega doses of Advil. Some may call it clumsy, but the medical term is dyspraxia. Now I have never been officially diagnosed dyspraxic, but when you've been to the ER as much as I have you can legally call yourself a Doctor.

Last night I was bounding down the stairs, skipping really, filled with glee brought on by scoring 100% singing "Eye of the Tiger" on Rock Band. Maybe I was drunk with success; maybe I was high on Japanese candy and baked brie (a typical midnight snack). Either way the distractions caused me to miss the last step on a flight of stairs.

Lucky for me my husband heard my wails and rushed to my aide. Lucky for me the crunching sound I heard wasn't my ankle snapping directly in two as I predicted before I looked down at my foot. Lucky for me I have a husband, I don't work outside the home and my son is able to walk. Lucky, lucky, lucky...

So as it turns out I have what's called a Lisfranc injury... this is apparently the sort of thing people get when they survive a 2 story fall or a plane crash. Saturday I will have an MRI and CT scan to determine the extent of the damage. Please hope along with me that surgery isn't the prescription.

This is also of course my RIGHT foot. So I can’t drive. Greater that the fear of surgery is the concern that I will not be able to go to Target alone for a very long time. I like going to Target… and I like going there without husband and child.

My new slogan; “it is what it is”… I have said it about a hundred times today. I am still looking for the sliver lining in this cloud. Maybe I will get some reading done, pick up my knitting again or start blogging more.