Funny... and a Lesson for Marketers

As the owner of CraftCritique.com I receive almost daily emails from marketers. They want to optimize our blog for search engines, have us review their non-crafty products, have us SELL their product, loan us money, or a million other things that either do not make any sense or are totally not appropriate for our business.

Out of all the marketing emails we receive I would say less than 5% are applicable to us or worth pursuing in any way. So when I read this article, "A lesson to marketers about the importance of reading the blogs they pitch to but who probably won’t read this because they don’t read the blogs they pitch to", by the Bloggess; Jenny Lawson, I immediately related.

In this post (which you should read right now) Jenny schools a marketing rep for a lotion company who contacts her to test their product line. She toys with him, explaining her need for a SPF shielding lotion to protect her lawn maintenance staff from the dangers of rock dissolving acids. It becomes apparent that not only has he not read her blog, he is barely reading her emails.... hilarity ensues, and a lesson is learned.

The email pitches we receive are so random and ridiculous I always figured there wasn't even a real person on the other end of most of them... they read like Nigerian Lottery win announcements. I just delete them and move on, figuring if I responded I would just end up on more spam lists as a result.

But Jenny's post inspired me, and today I decided to try my luck at badgering a marketing rep. This time from a company that promises to place my products in their network of stores... note that this was sent to Craft Critique, not my personal blog. If you have visited CC you know we do not sell anything, and it's pretty obvious at a glance.

-----Original Message-----
From: David T.
Sent: Thursday, March 19, 2009 3:17 PM
To: info@craftcritique.com
Subject: Re: I'm interested in selling your crafts through our stores

I sent you an email a few months ago about selling your crafts through our network of stores. I think they'd be a great fit. Do you wholesale?

We work hand in hand with buyers from thousands of specialty stores, gift shops, large chains, mail-order catalog companies and Internet shopping sites. We need a larger variety of crafts they can choose from, hence my email to you.

If you're interested in selling your pieces to more stores visit us at (his URL was HERE) We guarantee sales.

Sincerely,
David T.
Director of Merchandising
Company Name


My Response...


-----Original Message-----
From: Sarah Moore [mailto:sarah@craftcritique.com]
Sent: Thursday, March 19, 2009 3:13 PM
To: 'David T'
Subject: RE: I'm interested in selling your crafts through our stores

That sounds great! How do I begin?

I actually have an overstock of 1000 chain-maile maternity shirts I need to unload. They had been ordered custom by a specialty chain of medieval maternity shops... but with the economy being what it is they just canceled the order. Unfortunately for me I have a very quick staff and they had completed the whole collection before we received the notice of cancellation.

Do you need images of the products? They are a basic tunic style, in silver-tone chain-maile with faux ruby embellishments. I can change the stones out to pink or blue if you think that would be more marketable than red.

I eagerly await your response! Thank you so much for contacting us!

-Sarah


and best of all, HIS follow up!


-----Original Message-----
From: David T.
Sent: Thursday, March 19, 2009 6:27 PM
To: 'Sarah Moore'
Subject: RE: I'm interested in selling your crafts through our stores

It's optional to add images, although adding images will help move your products.

As per your email, to get started simply register at (his URL was HERE) Send me an email when you register and I'll forward you instruction on how to get set-up. I'll also add a free month to your account.

Sincerely,
David T.


I honestly don't even know how to respond next! Maybe I will see if I can find an image to send him of my chain-maile maternity tunics... anyone know a chain-maile artist?

80's Flashback...

This clip was shared on SIS TV today... and I just need to say...

Who ARE those two guys dancing behind Debbie... and how OLD are they???

For what occasion are the random "audience" dancers dressed? One chick looks like she's in a prom/wedding gown... and everyone looks like either Madonna or Don Johnson sellected their outfits.

This video is perfect for playing my favorite game "Count the Mullets". Play along!

I recommend you stick around for the second 1/2 of the clip... the last 30 seconds feature some of the best dancing by men in suspenders I have ever... and I mean ever seen.



And now, confession time. I just spent like 30 minutes of my life watching this OVER and OVER.

Thank you Debbie Gibson... thank you!

Something to Make You Happy!

I have discovered a wonderful (albeit corny) song. Fun for the whole family... if this song by The Free Design and the corresponding video by Paul Frank doesn't make you gleeful then I can't help you.